ARE WE GETTING RUDER, AND WHO'S TO BLAME?
Friday, October 23, 2009 at 7:03PM So I answered my own question, right there in the headline. I do believe people are ruder, sloppier (you count the ways: table manners, writing, dress, etc.) I don't want to come off as some old mothball curmudgeon (hey, I just was blasting the Sex Pistols, so give me a break), but what the hell happened to common sense? Maybe the mistake is being made at the grade school level- CS101- it should be taught and tested right along with the MCAS. Send little Johhny or Joanie home with a common sense test- so many people are not teaching their kids to think for themselves, and so many adults have forgotten the fine art of not being a jerk or a poopie head.
Bear witness to the following: I'm not naming names, and we've all been manner guilty at one time or another. ITEM #1. My son had his Bar Mitzvah this year. We did a real down-scale, down-to-earth celebration for a lot of reasons. I designed the invite myself (it is what I try to do for a living- designing), then put them in the mail. Maybe Emily Post would roll over in her etiquette-appropriate coffin, but there was no formal "reply card". Didn't want to spend the $$ on stamps, and we were trying to be very "green" by asking people to RSVP with a simple phone call and/or email. Many did as were asked. And just as many decided the "Respond by date" was just another way of saying "Ignore after opening". So we finally started calling the 50 or so people who chose to have us hunt them down like the dogs they decided to be. And some of these were very good friends. I love them all (maybe a tiny bit less now), but come on? Can't you even pretend that my son's Bar Mitzvah is momentarily more important than the work/soccer/football/field hockey/cheerleading/baseball/dance/music/game/practice thingymabob you're doing 24/7 to respond to me for 30 seconds? It's not a big request. Seriously.
ITEM#2. A children's clothing drive. Charity. Sounds like a nice thing, right? Especially if you offer the lure of wine & cheese to go with your good will? And all you have to do is show up, drop stuff, eat & drink, and we get it where it needs to go, into the hands of the people who need it. Actually, you don't even have to show up- you can just drop stuff on our front porch, ding-dong-ditch style. Remember- it was about the kids, but it sure would've been nice to RESPOND to the invite/RSVP we sent out, friend.
ITEM#3. A friend recently had one of those "jewelry" parties. OK- I know these things aren't for everybody, and there's a a party for everything these days from A-Z. But there's nothing that says "I love You" or "You care the very best" like when you expect 25 people and 5 show up. RSVP? The French better come up with something more appropriate, and quick. "WC anybody?" No- not "Water Closet", more like "Who Cares"...
Where am I going with this long rant? Does social media have anything to do with this lack of couth? You'd think it would make it easier for us. With a click of a button we can respond to emails, text messages, blogs, posts, invitations... or maybe not. Are we now so inundated between our real life and our cyber lives that we just don't have time for anything anymore? Are we so connected that we can't connect humanely anymore?
So the next time you're eating, use a napkin, you Neanderthal, and don't pick your teeth at the table- if I wanted a floor show I'd pay extra. When you write that email? Use spell check- it's free, or worse, a friggin' dictionary if you own one. And the next time you get invited to something, RSVP for cryin' out loud, if that's the appropriate thing to do. Pick up a phone, click "yes" or "no", mail it, carve it into a stone tablet and roll up the street for all I care (and it'd be good exercise, too). But DO SOMETHING. Just don't be rude.
Reader Comments (4)
I'm not homeless, but I am an art director and a (considerably older) father. All you have to do is look at the business you're in to see that the marketing of self image and the pervasiveness of "being connected" has had two significant effects on the current crop of parents: 1) Many are completely self-absorbed and doing what they think they should be doing because everyone else is doing it, and 2) the ability to hide behind LANS, WANS, and Bluetooth has made them devoid of face-to-face social graces. In short, it's not that they're rude; they don't know how to be polite.
One last observation. Note that you're venting on the internet. Man up and tell these people they pissed you off.
All true, Dan. And you do bring up a good point- I assumed that most people knew how to be polite but that skill had been lost or buried, but maybe I gave them too much credit to begin with. Back to the womb for them all and learn their Emily Post.
How about the new crop of kids that run around during movies... and how about the parents that defend those kids. And how about other audience members who berate you if you make a comment. Geez.
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